For a long time I had toyed with the idea of starting a blog, posting my day to day interactions with commoners of Nairobi
I must say that I don't consider my self a commoner no! In fact where I come from I am a village celebrity, so I have bestowed upon my self the noble task of enlightening you earthlings on the rules and regulations of being somebody in society just like me.
You may ask why I call my blog masikini that is because it is addressed to you, the poorest of them all. Don't be mistaken I am not a ghetto chap like you, far from that I was breed and brought up with butter, blueband to be exact. Not like you gwashe fellows so when I tell you the ways of coming out of your misery you better listen, I consider it my contribution to philanthropy. For me this is a better contribution than Buffets billions, how can he just throw away all that cash? That man definitely has no Kenyan genome and is also not a Christian like me for the bible says you must work for your food simply put money.
Speaking of Christianity, I consider my self the holiest of them all, as a matter of fact in my past life I have dined and wined with fellows like petro a personal friend. Judeo was also a personal friend until you know all what he did. If you don't let me explain briefly, Judeo was a very learned friend who entered into an MOU that allowed him to climb up the ladder and join those who were up there like lazaro the golden man aka commissioner of taxes. For 30 bob this man was elevated to a goldener.
I have come to conclude that is where our fellow brothers in Christ got their inspiration from they call them selves NCCK, I don't know what it stands for. But my educated guess is that it is a new denomination led by Dr. Rev. MBBs. PHD. FFS. HTT. Bishop somebody. Some how I've never been able to figure out the name she was given by her mother on that proud day that she poped out.
But who can blame them for wanting to go up the ladder and join lazaro and company; in fact their good Rev. did it. He figured out whoever said that they should remain poor as the mice of the churches must have been a pagan and does not want a good life for the sons of God.
So now after much prayer he has become a mweshimiwa. His brothers in NCCK have seen the miracle in their lifetime leave alone Judeo becoming a goldener their own Rev. is a Mweshimiwa not to forget the Bishop who happens to be a Doctor.
These good brothers have now decided that the only way for them to go up that ladder that leads to paths made of gold and streams flowing with milk, not the Nyandarua type streams -no they flow with real milk mixed with honey on top, is to remove the Khadi courts from our constitution, so now they have decided to vote NO. If the Khadi courts are going to be included in the constitutions they want there own Christian courts. I must admit their thinking is brilliant, a master stroke they now want to add the title Justice to there long names. I bet it will sound good Justice.Dr.Rev.Bishop.PHD.FFS.HTT.Hon. Mweshimiwa as if the confession box is not enough.
I have always wondered
if they know what Khadi courts do. But then they must be knowing, the way they talk about it. Surely they must have been arrested and taken to a Kahdi who then sentenced them to life of idiocy.
Now did I mention that I am a good Christian, the type that takes Holy Communion and sings the hymnal by heart, you can always identify the Christmas type Christians when it comes to singing. Did I mention that I faithfully give my offerings, not the coin type offerings, no. The kind that needs a whole CPA to count. So when I speak just remember I am your fellow brother in Christ.
To think that the Khadi courts have been with us since I don't know when and no one has had his hand chopped or flogged in public for having an affair. I wonder what these brothers know that I don't. Considering that I'm a fellow brother.
But who am I to know, after all these guys are Dr. Rev. HTT, Bishops, MBBS, PHD's, what can I possibly know. All I can do is watch them, applaud them as they scramble to climb that ladder to join me and my able waheshimiwas after all don't forget I'm not a mare earthling like you guys.
Good luck my brothers, my able prayers are always with you.
Your Brother,
Masikini.
